Last week, after 15 years on the mat, I earned my black belt. The journey was anything but linear—full of ups and downs, unexpected turns, and invaluable lessons.
Despite being a brown belt longer than all of the other belts combined (8 years), I would not trade my experience for anything. You see, as many of you have probably already realized, the reward is not the black belt, but who you become in the process of getting there.
Those 8 years at brown were some of the hardest of my life.
Injuries, surgeries, cross-country moves, training through a pandemic, and chronic back pain tested my resolve. More than once, doctors warned me of long-term damage if I kept training.
But in 2017, a book changed my mindset: The Obstacle Is The Way. Instead of quitting, I committed to the goal, embracing struggles as opportunities for growth.
Much of what I write about each week in this newsletter are the lessons I discovered in my quest to get out of pain and remain resilient on the mat.
Today, I’m sharing 15 key lessons from my 15-year journey to black belt.
1. The greatest reward in BJJ is the relationships you build.
Yes, you’ll gain fighting skills, improve fitness, and sharpen your mind—but the biggest benefit? The people you meet.
Struggling alongside teammates, trusting them with your safety, and pushing each other daily creates lifelong bonds. If you—or someone you know—feels lost or alone, start training BJJ.
2. Rotation is the most overlooked, yet most crucial movement for grapplers.
After a decade of straight-line lifting (squats, deadlifts), my body started breaking down. Adding rotational exercises relieved compression, balanced my body, and unified the strength I had built over years.
Jiu-jitsu (and life) is rotational. Now, rotational training is the foundation of how I train and coach.
3. You are allowed to create your own jiu-jitsu.
Early on, I believed there was a “correct” way to do BJJ and followed my instructors to the letter.
At purple belt, I realized BJJ is an art, not just a science. Take what your coaches teach, but develop your own style. The mat will reveal what works.
4. You will get hurt—train for resilience, not just performance.
When I was younger, I trained for strength and speed. By my mid-30s, injuries forced me to rethink my approach.
Now, I prioritize resilience through rotational strength training, full joint range of motion, strength at the end ranges, and nervous system management.
What’s amazing is that this approach still builds strength, speed, and aesthetics—while forging a much more robust body for the mats.
5. There is no single best way to train for grappling.
Avoid coaches who claim their method is the best.
Some grapplers never lift weights and are absolute monsters on the mat. Others train five days a week into their 60s and 70s.
You can build strength with isometrics, bodyweight, loaded mobility, or traditional weights. The key? Find what works for you.
6. BJJ will destroy your body… if you let it.
No one trains jiu-jitsu long-term without getting hurt. Beyond the occasional injury, years of repetitive stress, compression, and poor recovery take a toll.
When you’re young, you bounce back quickly. But over time, ignoring aches and pains leads to chronic issues. The solution?
- Prioritize recovery and nervous system management.
- Balance tensions in your body.
- Listen to pain—it’s a warning sign, not something to push through.
7. Every injury or setback is an opportunity for growth.
I’ve always been injury-prone. By my mid-30s, they became harder to bounce back from, affecting not just training but life itself.
It’s easy to slide into depression, get hooked on substances, or look for short cuts out of pain. But those never work long-term.
Instead, adopt a growth mindset. Use setbacks as a chance to study recovery and resilience.
Whatever you’re battling right now, reframe your struggle into a chance to progress.
8. You must balance strength with mobility for long-term resilience.
Strength is certainly important for effective grappling and BJJ resilience…but it’s not everything.
BJJ requires a blend of strong contractions mixed with the ability to easily get into and out of irregular body positions.
Often times strength training can lead to tension in the body, limiting your range of motion, which could leave you less resilient against injuries.
Build resilience in bones and joints with strength training and loaded mobility training, but maintain your suppleness and range of motion with breathing and mobility drills.
9. Mobility training is not what I originally thought it was.
At white belt, I suffered severe neck and shoulder pain—bad enough to get injections just to train. I turned to mobility training, following Steve Maxwell and Kelly Starrett’s methods.
Steve’s approach to mobility training involves taking your joint’s to their end range without load and gradually pushing it further with each rep.
Kelly’s approach improves joint mobility by relieving compression with self-myofascial release and banded joint mobilizations.
Their techniques helped but were short-term fixes. The real breakthrough?
- First, improve joint positioning using breathwork and posture drills.
- Then, mobilize with joint mobility drills and bands.
This approach transformed my mobility, reduced pain, and improved movement far beyond what I was getting with only step 2.
10. Do what works for you.
Everyone online has an opinion—myself included. Some coaches swear by science, others by experience.
My advice? Keep an open mind.
Use proven principles to guide your training. Experiment to find what works for your body. Prioritize long-term health over short-term gains.
And don’t forget that training is allowed to be fun.
11. Manage your nervous system for sustained performance.
Overtraining leads to burnout, injuries, and poor performance. The missing piece? Nervous system regulation.
Always do a cooldown after class, use breathwork to activate recovery, take 2 full rest days per week and sleep 8 hours nightly.
If you constantly push high-intensity training without recovery, your BJJ longevity will suffer.
12. Strength endurance is the key to high-performance BJJ.
Strength alone isn’t enough—you need strength endurance for optimal grappling performance.
BJJ demands explosive power and sustained force for prolonged periods of time.
My preferred method is Anti-glycolytic training—which builds endurance without excessive fatigue by working the alactic anaerobic and aerobic pathways. It’s a smart way to train for both performance and longevity.
13. Take your health into your own hands.
I’ve seen dozens of doctors and physical therapists over the years. Few provided lasting solutions.
The reality? Many practitioners offer short-term fixes and outdated advice. If you’re serious about longevity in combat sports you must educate yourself on injuries, rehab, and performance and be proactive rather than reactive.
No one will care about your body as much as you do.
14. Jiu-jitsu is one of the best rides you can take in life.
As cliché as it sounds, jiu-jitsu changed my life—and maybe even saved it.
When you step on the mat for the first time, you have no idea what you’re in for. You don’t just learn combat skills—you learn about yourself. Your limitations, weaknesses, and the humbling reality that no matter how good you think you are, someone more skilled will always keep you in check.
Through BJJ, I’ve traveled the world, started multiple businesses, made lifelong friends, and learned invaluable lessons.
It’s truly one of the best journeys anyone can take.
15. Don’t quit.
The most valuable lesson in my 15 years? Keep going.
I wanted to quit countless times—from injuries, frustration, and doubt. But as I said in my black belt speech: “You cannot lose if you do not quit.”
If you refuse to give up, you always have a chance to succeed – and that extends far beyond the mat to everything you do in life.
Final Thoughts
BJJ has been the most challenging and rewarding journey of my life.
I hope you can glean something useful from my 15 years of training the best martial art in the world.
Thanks for being part of my BJJ journey – building Order & Progress and serving the readers of this newsletter has been an important part of it.
Oss.
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