1. “If you don’t lose your breath, you don’t have to catch your breath.”
Breathing was at the core of Steve’s philosophy. A student of Qigong, an ancient Chinese practice combining movement, breathing, and meditation, Steve believed breathing was the foundation of health and fitness. He often said, “If you can’t breathe, you can’t move” and “If you don’t lose your breath, you don’t have to catch your breath.” He emphasized the importance of maintaining control of your breath, even under stress. For Steve, the kettlebell was the ultimate tool for training breath efficiency, as it required coordination, focus, and sharp, deliberate exhales to fuel strong inhales. Steve encouraged training your breath in two key ways:- Breath capacity: Improve it with conditioning like intervals and steady-state cardio to boost your VO2 max.
- Breath control: Coordinate your breathing with movement and slow your breathing rate during high-intensity efforts.
2. “Everything is mental.”
Steve spent a lifetime studying eastern movement practices, which often are a tool of developing the mind. As mentioned he studied Qigong, but he explored other eastern martial arts and practices for years.
He viewed the body as a “vehicle” that needed to be cared for but also believed a fit body doesn’t necessarily correlate to healthy life. That’s why Steve’s coaching and teaching was much more than simply learning to use a kettlebell properly.
He espoused a holistic view of training, linking the body, breath, and mind together for complete elevation of one’s health. The breath was the connection between the body and mind and used training as a tool to improve all three.
As I’m reflecting on Steve’s teachings it reminds me of the countless stoic teachings I’ve studied for years on the importance of cultivating a strong mind.
One of my favorites from Marcus Aurelius is, “The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he comes to strength.”
Coach Steve embodied this in his training, and this concept is highly valuable when rolling or competing.
The ability to remain calm under stress means the ability to think and act as needed.
3. “Manage your nervous system.”
Steve began training in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu at the age of 48 and earned his brown belt in just 4.5 years—a testament to his consistency and discipline. Even at 54, he trained five to six days a week, injury-free, thanks to what he called his “good habits.” For Steve, managing the nervous system was the key to longevity. He credited his success to two essential components of his training routine:- A dedicated warmup, which prepared his body and mind for movement.
- An intentional cooldown, which addressed the negative effects of training, including muscle tension, joint compression, and chemical buildup from intense activity.
4. “Combine the most important elements you need into each workout.”
Steve was a businessman, a coach, a father, and a martial artist. He knew that most people, especially grapplers, lead busy lives. For him, the kettlebell was the perfect tool because it combined the elements he considered essential: power endurance, strength, and mobility. He believed kettlebell training was especially valuable for grapplers, as it developed power endurance—critical for combat sports—and built resilience for the mats. One of his favorite methods was loaded mobility, which combined strength and improved range of motion. By focusing on strength at the “extreme range,” Steve developed mobility and resilience in areas that are often neglected. In fact, his methods were a direct inspiration for some techniques in my program, BJJ Kettlebell Resilience.5. “Everything starts with love.”
One of Steve’s most profound lessons was that “everything starts with love.”
He ended many of his teachings and videos with this message—not in the romantic sense, but as a call to practice self-love and acceptance.
Steve encouraged people to forgive themselves, accept where they were, and focus on continuous improvement. To him, martial arts, fitness, and kettlebells were not the end goals—they were tools for becoming a better, more vital human being.
I always admired Steve’s commitment and courage to spread this message, especially in a community that’s built on toughness...or the appearance of it.
He reminded us to stop comparing ourselves to others and focus on improving one step at a time, every day.
It’s the same message that’s at the foundation of Order & Progress, a commitment to self progress, forever.
Final Thoughts
If you were fortunate enough to meet Steve Cotter, you know he was the real deal. Patient, deliberate, and calm, he always carried a smile and was passionate about the people he taught and the community he served. He was a wealth of knowledge and shared his wisdom generously. As I reflect on his legacy, two Stoic principles come to mind:- Amor Fati: Accept and embrace everything in life, including the challenges, as opportunities for growth. Though we lost an incredible human being in Steve, his lessons and teachings remain for us to carry forward.
- Memento Mori: Remember that we all must pass. Steve’s life, though cut short, reminds us of the urgency to strive for self-improvement and to live with purpose and love.
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